How to Find Your Communication Blind Spots in 10 Minutes
Two simple recordings will reveal exactly what's holding back your communication and what to fix first.
Through this newsletter, I want to provide you with actionable and creative methods for becoming a better communicator.
Before diving into upcoming posts, we need to establish where you currently stand.
This leads to our starting point: Do you have self-awareness?
The initial phase of communication improvement involves identifying which areas need work.
People typically fall into one of three categories:
You possess clear awareness. This means you recognize (sometimes uncomfortably so) your problematic communication patterns. Rapid speakers, for instance, usually realize they speak too quickly.
You have awareness, but it's misguided. Many individuals hold completely wrong beliefs about their difficulties. (One example is people thinking they "gesture excessively with their hands.")
You lack awareness entirely. Some individuals cannot identify which communication obstacles are limiting them. This isn't necessarily problematic. In certain respects, starting here offers advantages, since you haven't wasted time applying ineffective advice or attempting thought control.
Already aware? Excellent! Celebrate this achievement! You can skip ahead.
For those in categories two or three, the key question becomes: How do you develop accurate self-awareness?
You possess a valuable instrument in your pocket daily, possibly in your hands at this moment, that can immediately enhance your understanding of communication weaknesses.
Your smartphone, naturally. Let's explore your phone's capabilities beyond constantly capturing your focus.
It records video.
This suggestion might create an uncomfortable sensation as you consider, "Okay, Rinaldo, I appreciate your newsletter and find some value here, but recording myself crosses a line."
I understand this reaction; many share these feelings. I once felt similarly. Allow me to explain why you should reconsider.
What we perceive differs from actual reality.
Speakers in critical moments who lose their train of thought and experience mental blanks often misjudge duration dramatically when reflecting later, believing one second stretched to ten. Recording yourself offers a quick, private, and undeniable method to verify whether your actions match your assumptions.
Video allows separate examination of your vocal delivery (through audio alone) or physical presentation (through silent viewing).
Persuaded? Wonderful! Feeling anxious? Equally wonderful! When drills and exercises I propose create nervousness or unease, I encourage embracing these feelings and developing appreciation for them. This represents a safe space for mistakes; poor performance here carries no real consequences. Remember that confronting and managing nervousness, anxiety, or hesitation in this environment builds skills and confidence for real-world situations where your performance matters.
Time to Hit Record
I'd like you to record yourself twice. If this feels risky, I appreciate you taking this chance with me. If you're in a location where filming might appear strange, find privacy or position yourself as if you're on a video call. If you cannot complete this exercise now because you're on public transport while reading, treat this as homework for later. However, you're more likely to follow through if you act immediately.
Soon, I want you to deliver a two-minute personal pitch. This could focus on your current position, desired role, or your company/employer/organization/school/institution/group.
Skip the note-taking. Simply grab your phone and start recording. (Suggestion: Flip the phone so you cannot see yourself. Speak to the camera, not the screen. This reduces distraction.)
After finishing, resist watching immediately. Record first. Once complete, set your phone aside and return to this text. Begin now.
(...)
Excellent work! I admire your bold approach.
Now repeat the process with a variation. This time record yourself sharing a two-minute story.
Your story must meet these criteria:
feature someone you deeply care about (child, family member, spouse, partner, close friend, pet)
carry strong emotional weight for you (funny, heartbreaking, amazing, etc.)
remain vivid enough in your memory for easy detail recall
That's all. Take time to select your story. Go on, choose one... Now that you've picked a story, film yourself again. Avoid watching the footage yet, just record. Then return here. I'll be waiting.
(...)
Excellent work again! I doubly admire your bold approach!
Now you can view both recordings. But here's what you cannot focus on: your clothing, hairstyle, or room lighting. This isn't about appearance. Surprisingly, it's also not about your actual words. Don't analyze whether your content was foolish, brilliant, incorrect, or accurate.
Instead, I just want you to focus on delivery.
Review the videos twice.
First time you review the videos, turn up the volume, turn your phone face down, and just listen. Listen for the speed, pitch, and volume at which you speak; for how long you’re pausing. Listen to the enunciation and clarity of your speech; the number of filler words you use.
For the second viewing, mute both videos. Watch your facial expression (or lack thereof); your gesture freedom and precision (or restraint); your posture; and similar elements.
Focus on everything except your actual words.
Conduct these two reviews, I'll be waiting.
(...)
Now consider these questions:
What did you observe (positive and negative) about your delivery in recording 1?
What did you observe (positive and negative) about your delivery in recording 2?
What were the most significant differences (positive and negative) in delivery between recordings?
Based on your observations, what represents the single largest delivery improvement opportunity?
You probably discovered that recording 1 showed a diminished version of yourself compared to recording 2: reduced vocal variation, decreased facial animation, restricted gestural movement, less vibrant pronunciation, etc.
Whatever major weakness you identified, perhaps visible in both recordings, but likely more pronounced in recording 1 than recording 2, represents what I call the easiest target and your initial improvement focus as you read upcoming posts. You've identified your first priority area. Document this finding.
Congratulations! You've gained a valuable new awareness level. You've eliminated the perception-reality disconnect by objectively assessing yourself through direct observation. Most likely, you already feel capable of making positive changes simply from this newfound awareness.
But if you're not feeling capable, if you disliked what you observed, or worse, had your concerns about your "trouble spots" validated ("I already knew I sound like a speeding train!"), don't worry! In upcoming posts, we'll explore exercises that transform even persistent delivery patterns developed over decades.
To maximize upcoming posts, and all future ones, you need practice material. What do I mean by this?
Select Some Content
The coming exercises and practices are hands-on, not theoretical. Therefore, you need concrete material for practice.
You'll receive repeated prompts in future posts to "select some content." So imagine yourself in communication scenarios and consider various workplace settings and topics you discuss there. Here are basic examples:
A professional success narrative
A progress report on a complex project
A personal or organizational elevator pitch
A summary of a significant initiative
A description of a mission statement, campaign, or procedure
A quarterly review
An excerpt of a presentation
A short piece of industry insight
I could continue indefinitely. Countless speaking topics exist for practice. Treat these as inspiration, not mandates, and feel free to be inventive.
You'll notice most examples lean toward what I'd call workplace content, "material you might discuss professionally." This is deliberate. For most individuals, concentrating on workplace content matters for two reasons: (1) this often represents the area where people most desire improvement; and (2) personal material is typically easier to present, and for growth purposes, it's better to tackle challenging content. However, if you'd rather apply lessons and methods to personal communication material, please do so!
As we progress through exercises, I'll instruct you to "present some content," expecting you'll have several content options available.
I'll provide each exercise through detailed step-by-step directions that are simple to execute. After mastering the tools and practices in each chapter, you can choose how to incorporate them into your routine. Some practices target skill-building; others target performance. Many serve both purposes.
You'll identify, frequently right away, which practices you should prioritize and repeat extensively. When you discover practices that revolutionize your communication, I recommend rehearsing them regularly, preferably five days a week.
Since remote communication dominates our daily lives, I'll explore relevant changes when we're separated from our audience. But to ease the worry you might have about this entire subject, let me dismiss it now. Except for eye contact—which we'll also cover—every skill you'll learn in this series transfers to remote communication. Don't confuse yourself; remote communication isn't some alternate reality where everything reverses. The objective remains identical, though the format differs: convert breath into spoken words and use your voice and body to ensure your audience receives those words.
You now have everything you need to make the most of this newsletter series. Your homework before next week is simple: conduct the review I outlined above and create a list of three to five professional scenarios you want to practice with. Keep this list handy—you'll use it repeatedly.
Next week, we're diving into conciseness, one of the most powerful communication skills you can develop.
-Rinaldo