Turn Stakeholders into Co-Creators: A Science-Backed Strategy for Influence and Buy-In
A guide on how to gain real support by involving others in the shaping of your ideas.
You’ve likely had moments where you needed someone to get on board with your idea. Maybe it was leadership. Maybe it was a cross-functional partner. And maybe, despite your best arguments, crisp decks, and airtight logic, they didn’t bite.
That’s because the path to buy-in isn’t paved with perfection. It’s paved with participation.
The problem with perfectly packaged ideas is that they leave no room for your audience.
Here’s the mindset shift:
Your audience is not an obstacle to win over. They are the hero of the story. Your job is not to convince them. It’s to invite them in.
The Audience is the Hero
We often default to making ourselves the center of the pitch. We’ve done the research, thought through the edge cases, and now we’re here to “sell the vision.” But if your audience is just sitting back and listening, they’re not bought in.
In storytelling, the audience isn’t just a passive listener. They are the hero. Your job isn’t to shine in front of them, but to craft a story where they see themselves. This is especially important in cross-functional teams where influence doesn’t come from authority, but from resonance.
A good story doesn’t just speak to your audience, it involves them. It gives them a role. It allows them to shape it.
To create real buy-in, you need more than clarity. You need co-creation.
And this is where real influence starts: when your idea becomes our idea.
That means leaving parts of your idea unfinished on purpose. It means actively looking for openings where your audience can contribute and shape the outcome.
Why? Because people don’t reject what they help create.
Hollywood Knows This
In a fascinating study, Kimberly Elsbach and Roderick Kramer analyzed pitch meetings in Hollywood over six years. They discovered something counterintuitive: success didn’t depend on the strength of the idea alone, but on the creative involvement of the audience, in this case, studio executives.
The writers who were most successful were not the ones who bulldozed through objections or dazzled with brilliance. They were the ones who treated the executives as collaborators. They invited feedback, asked for input, and made room in their idea for someone else’s fingerprints.
Once the decision-maker felt like a creative partner, the odds of rejection dropped dramatically.
The lesson is simple: your stakeholders are not just gatekeepers, they are your co-creators. Bring them in. Involve them early.
Tactic: Leave Wiggle Room
Your goal isn’t to get others to instantly adopt your idea. Your goal is to offer something compelling enough that it opens a conversation. You want to create an opening, not a conclusion.
So how do you actually do this?
The simplest way to do this is to identify part of your proposal for which you are willing to allow some wiggle room and then introduce it not as a fully formed idea, but as an option which you are possibly slightly reluctant to bring forward.
Use language like:
“I’m not entirely sure this direction fits the context here, but I’d be curious what you think of it...”
or
“This idea is not quite fully formed, but I’d love your take on it…”
This has a few hidden powers.
First, it signals humility.
Second, it opens a door for collaboration.
And third, it subtly introduces a sense of intrigue. You’ve made the idea feel scarce, even a little risky, like they’re getting a peek at something you weren’t planning to show.
Psychologically, that raises curiosity and invites ownership. The result? People lean in.
The Collaboration Paradox
Even if the first reaction is, “It’s not quite right”, that’s fine. You’ve moved from presenting to co-discovering. You’ve positioned your audience as an expert worth listening to. And you’ve made them part of the idea’s DNA.
You’ve offered recognition (“your opinion matters here more than mine”) and created a sense of ownership (“you helped shape this”).
And here’s the paradox: many worry that inviting others to shape your idea somehow weakens your authority. But it’s the opposite.
Asking others for input and inviting them to shape your ideas doesn’t make you look less competent. It makes you look more strategic.
Why? Because people love giving advice. We overestimate our own expertise. So when you ask someone for their perspective, they subconsciously think, “They must be smart if they value my take.”
Asking for input elevates you in their eyes.
This principle is especially important in roles where you don’t have formal authority, like working across teams, leading by influence, or driving alignment. Co-creation isn’t just strategic. It’s essential.
Influence Through Participation
If you want people to support your idea, don’t ask them to approve it, ask them to build it with you. That’s how you shift from selling an idea to building momentum around it.
It’s not about presenting the perfect plan.
It’s about creating an opening.
It’s about offering just enough shape that others want to step in and make it their own.
To implement this approach in your next presentation or stakeholder meeting:
Make the audience the hero: Frame your idea as a way to advance their goals, not just yours.
Identify your wiggle room: Decide in advance which parts of your proposal are flexible and which are essential.
Leave room for input: Find the part of your idea where collaboration can strengthen the outcome.
Use invitational language: Signal curiosity, not certainty.
Be genuinely open: This only works if you mean it. The goal isn’t to fake collaboration. It’s to build something better than what you started with, together.
Because when people feel like co-authors, they act like advocates.
Don’t aim for the perfect pitch.
Aim for a conversation compelling enough to build something together.
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Know someone preparing for a big pitch? Share this post with them. Sometimes the difference between rejection and buy-in is just a shift in approach.
Good luck and be patient with yourself.
-Rinaldo